bumping my own blog feels retarded. No, it is retarded.
But I did it anyway.It's like making a bonfire on the beach on an habited (or undeserted, w/e) island or graffiti on a wall or shooting fireworks or shouting like corns - It's not like you are dying but you make a scene to tell people you're not dead. Yeah. Something like that.
I was reading our BnS blog and clicking on all the blog links there and realised only a handful of people still update their blogs (like vincent jams sabby jas. how can jas not update her blog?) while for the rest their blog either died digitally or is in comatose(the other handful).
Of course, I went through Vincent's blog too. He's the kind of person who has funny posts(ha-ha, not wierd funny). It's like anything he posts is funny. I bet if he posted a sentence like I AM SO GOING TO TURF CLUB AND WATCH HOSES RACE!!!! it'll be really funny, compared to like erm....yilin? vincent has more impact. Zhongyan is also ha-ha funny.And vincent has real topics like his camp or movie reviews, compared to my blog which is mostly built on posts not supported by my daily life(mostly). If you don't understand the previous sentence don't worry I'm getting confused too so let's drop that topic.
Nowadays I keep thinking of my life after NS. Is the course i picked a good decision? Should I apply for another course? Should I apply for NUS before i ORD?
I can only list a few things which i know i want to do: Learn bike, piano and get part time before uni starts.
Then i start thinking about the money. Uni's not gonna be cheap, so is it still possible to apply for scholarship after probably 1 year into uni? Just to see if i can handle the course. My poly friend(who finished NS) told me NS is the only place where you don't have to think. Physical stress only,no mental stress. I think likewise- somehow being in NS for such a long time led me into thinking about the future. The more i think about it, the more uncertainty there is further ahead. Used to years of "following the syllabus" education, suddenly you have the freedom to do whatever you want. Take up a design course, of engineering? maybe chemistry? What if i regret halfway through it? Suddenly, freedom of choice led me to a certain feeling which was the loss of certainty in my decision(certainly intended), or did i start to fear moving forward?
When did we start to become like this? I read somewhere that compared to people around the world, s'poerans are more afraid to make decisions. I guess that is true for me.
Maybe we should stop thinking so much and start moving forward.
